Coke Crack
by Evil Twins INC
Summary: RoyxEd Crack. Sound enticing? Good, it should. Rated for Depression, Suggustivity, Ed's mouth, and... the list goes on. Riku
1. Water Balloons

Edward had found new entertainment. It involved Roy Mustang.

It all started one scourching-hot afternoon. Edward, being the devious shorty he was, had found some unblown-ballons. After further searching, he had found a water spigot. And a bucket.

Creeping up the stairs to Taisa's office, He peeked around the door.

Enter, Colonel Bastard, Edo-kuns secret lover. Doing paperwork, and fanning himself in the heat, mindlessly cursing the paperwork keeping him from his Edo. Who he was planning on snuggling up to later. But oh, there would be no snuggles for this.

Throwing the door open, "ATTACK" was shreiked, and a water-balloon was thrown.

Five minutes later, A soaked Taisa sat at his desk. Shocked, Soaked, ANGRY Taisa. And a grinning, sweaty, SEXY, Half-automail certain blonde alchemist who would be getting no snuggles tonight. 


	2. Reading

bDISCLAIMER: I OWN FMA... Don't believe me? Good. Because I don't/b

"Some say reading is good.

I say: Reading is knowledge. Knowledge is power. Power is corrupt.  
Corruption is a crime. And crime doesn't pay. So if you read anymore Taisa, you'll go broke,"

Edward said, yawning, and leaning back on Taisa's couch, who just happened to be his secret lover.

"So you're saying I shouldn't read?" Taisa asked, flipping the pages of a new alchemy book he'd just gotten his hands on. "Yes, damnit. I said not to read." "And Why is that, Edward?" He questioned, leaning back in his chair. "You'll go broke. And I don't like my lovers broke," Ed growled, glaring at Roy. "Besides... I can think of much more.. interesting things to do." And there was Roy's attention. Snapping the book shut, he sat down on the couch, nearly on Edward.  
"And what are they, Edo?" "I think they go a little something like this..." Edward said, kissing Roy, hard on the lips.

And the rest of the afternoon, there was little noise heard from Roy's office, except for the occasional moan, and bump.  
And the one time, Ed yelling out 'Why can't I ever be top?" 


	3. Coke Bottle

**Disclaimer : I own FMA … don't believe me? Good, My name isn't Hiromu Arakawa!**

Edo sat on the couch in his beloved Taisa's office, drinking a coke, rather noisily,

trying to distract his lover from Hawkeye's lover, the source of Mustang's sailor style cussing, and Ed's source of disdain – paperwork.

Oh, how Mustang HATED paperwork ; which is why he took to staring, love-sick puppy-style at Ed, who was sliding his tongue rather … suggestively along the rim of the bottle, and poking his tongue onto the inside of the bottle, running it along the inside of the coke, trying to reach every last drop.

"Edward?" Mustang finally said, glaring at his chibi-lover, in that 'I love you but what the HELL are you doing?' sort of glare. Yeah, you know what I mean, right?

"Yes, Taisa Bastard?" Edward said mock-innocently, dislodging his tongue from the bottle, and sneering at Mustang.

"What in _Amestris_**1** are you doing?" Mustang said, now poised to snap, watching Edward with the baffled look on his face.

"Practicing." Was Ed's short response, nearly as short as he. Which, isn't that short… but I'm ranting again.

"For what, O-chibi-one?" Mustang questioned, now just staring at Ed.

"You, Colonel Shit."


	4. Just a toy?

_1 From "Coke Bottle" -- Well, I think thats the name, correct me if i'm wrong, sorry. :D _

**…Still don't own it. I sold it at a pawn shop for 50 cents. Shoulda asked for more, eh?**

It was over.

No, it just had never started.

There had never been a 'we', an 'us', or a 'togetherness'

Edward was just a toy. A toy Mustang had grown tired of playing with.

A toy, Edward supposed, was the worst, yet the best thing to ever happen to him.

Or so he thought.

He had seen, or he thought he had known what should have happened. He saw Riza and Roy in that… store. That dreaded store, which sparked so many a 'yes' in people. People like Roy and Ed used to be. And Roy telling him he had to meet him in a restaurant, the

Best in Central, because they needed to talk, hadn't helped…

But this, this wasn't what he'd expected… not these words.

"Edward-san?" Was uttered, softly, a bit of hope in a voice, beautiful, issuing from the one Ed held so close, the one who kissed Ed goodnight, the one who Ed thought was going to tell him things were over. . Then a cough. Roy on his knees. Edward wasn't prepared at all for what came next.

"Edward-san, will you marry me?"

Instantaneous redemption.


	5. Eternal Love

Disclaimer: … **I still don't own it. Maybe I could borrow it? **

* * *

Edward sighed.

God, how he loved this man, who's strong arms held him tight at night. He loved the man who covered him in kisses, and cuddled with him. Loved him, the one who had spent many a sweaty night with, only to fall asleep with around daybreak. Who woke up next to him, fed him when he was sick, and cared for him. But now he was gone.

A silent tear rolled down his face, slowly parting the dust on Edward Elric's cheek.

Falling to his knees, he sobbed, uncontrollably, at the man he loved so dearly's grave, left alone again.

"Why you Roy? You promised, you promised you wouldn't leave me!" He cried, distraught, and full of sorrow for the things he'd never said, for the smiles he'd never see again, for the kisses they would never share, for the nights they wouldn't spend.

"You… you always knew I couldn't live without you…" He sobbed, laying his head on the newly-dug grave, where Roy's deceased head would be.

Ed gave one final shuddering breath; it was the last he'd ever breath. Closing his eyes, he drifted over the edge, his body becoming engulfed in the snow.

** They didn't find his body till spring.**


	6. Authors Note 1

TWA! Miiii corner!

dances+

Erm.. sorreh.

* * *

Hey, all you wonderful awesome reviewers, you!

Thanks for all the positive love!

**I'm sorry about #5 being so.. depressing.. I did warn you, though!**

**I killed Edo off because I cant stand Ed x anyone else,**

**And the story was based off of a mini-story I read out of "Being Dead" – By the best author Ever-- Vivian Van Velde.**

**…Specially the last line.**

So thanks for the reviews!

This'll be deleted when I feel like writing more crack.. man, I'm on a role.

* * *

**Possible to come up soon-**

A RoyEd lemon? Dunno if I can stop blushing enough to proofread it. O-o

Something to do with Roy, Ed, and sandwhiches.

YOUR REQUESTS. Please please please send them in, regaurdless of pairings, and write it, i shall!

--**RIKUcHAN **


	7. There was a terrible Crash!

Don't own it. Request By DemonThing.. This pained me to write. TT

* * *

All the days, years, eternities Roy had spent with his Edo, flashed before his eyes, his life played likea movie; one Roy couldn't come back to later, and press play.

"**Roy.."** Edo wispered, a horrified look on his face, his hand outstreched, a tear making it's way down Edo's cheek, still warm from Roy's tender kiss, as he looked on helplessly at Roy, his lover whos now mangled body was wedged between two cars, blood staining the street a crinsom, a gaping hole peirced through Roy's abdomen.

"**Edo**." Roy wispered, a trail of blood slipping down his mouth, dribbling over his chin, his neck cocked slightly back, trailing off, trying to speak to his just-legal(**1**) lover. "**Edo, I love you. We'll meet again**."

**And with that, the 29-year old Flame Alchemist was no more, **

* * *

.. Fanfiction Requests are cruel indeed.

**1-- **I know, I changed the ages, but it's a Fanfic, I'm allowed to.


	8. The Sandwich!

**I couldn't resist. Here is the wonderfullness of a sandwhich!**

**Still don't own FMA, by the way. This would be perfect, though. **

* * *

Edward was obbsessed. He couldn't seem to make the perfect sandwhich. It jsut wasn't happening. 

Sticking his tounge out slightly to the side, he lightly smeared his first peice of bread with Light

Mayo.

Working as slow as a doctor, he gently placed the meat next; folding it as soft as a blanket, lovingly, with soft hands.

Cheese, he added, with soft hands, placing it ever-so-lightly over the folded meat.

Gently, he placed lettuce down, like it was an ever-so-fragile egg, and if it cracked it would be the death of Edo.

Tucking an onion under it, he lovingly added a tomato; tucking it under the lettuce as one would tuck a child into sleep.

Plopping the last peice of bread on softly, he let out a deafening yell.

"**VIOLA**!" He screeched, reaching out for his baby, his sandwich. Just as he went, a pair of gloves embrodered with flames grabbed the sandwhich and took a messy bite.

**"Thanks for the sandwhich, Ed**!" Mustang said, unaware of his rapidly-ensuing death.

* * *

+Giggle+ 

...What?

Ed: -crys- He... he ate my baby.

Riku: Don't worry, I'm writing that... scene for you.

Roy: WHAT SCENE? EDWARD...!

Ed: -runs away squeaking-

Riku&Roy: O.O ED SQUEEKED HOW KAWAII!

... -insert cricket chirp here-

Riky&Roy+Stare+


	9. Towel Fight!

Disclaimer:Still don't own.

Riku-chans been in a rut. Riku wants more suggustions!

* * *

Edward giggled, a very un-FullMetal sound,and wound the pearly-white towel in his hands even tighter, waiting behind the men's room door in Central, waiting for his 'beloved'  
"This'll teach him to be top all week.." He muttered, deviously thinking how to attack.  
"...And stealing my sandwich."**

* * *

** Roy Mustang whistled, his 'boom boom' glove hands shoved into his navy standard issue military pants, his boots tapping the floor in and odd rythm, sounding a bit like 'Ed, Ed,'Opening the men's room door, he let out a loud yelp,  
as he got smacked across the face with a towel.  
"Oh, it's on!" He yelled, grabbing a towel from nowhere, smaking his lover.

* * *

Fighting ensued, and for the next half hour, total chaos reigned, untill Havoc opened the door to a bruised Taisa, and FullMetal sporting a bloody nose.  
Both immediatly dropped the towels, and pointed at eachother, laughing maniacly.  
Ed fled, leaving a sweaty Taisa victim to a lustful Havoc.

* * *

A/n: Next up, topless Ed!  
Buutttt... I need more requests! 


	10. Update

Moshi Moshi, Everyone!

* * *

Well, I kind of am going to be grounded for a little while,

due to the fact that typing my fanfics up at 12:3o

when I'm supposed to be asleep isn't the best thing to do... so send in those requests!

I might be able to get them from Risa-Chan, Savannah-Chan, or Jaquii-Chan, And I'll have a BUNCH of fanfics written for yoo when i get back, I promise you!

Thank you to all my reviewers, I love you guys to the max!

* * *

**What Fanfics are coming next? Here's a list, including but not limited too;**

Topless Ed, Naked Ed in a Bath With Roy; Roy makes a short joke; ends up with a nosebleed, a Coffee Fanfic,  
and a Bondage fanfic are among what you'll have to wait for.

--Till next time, RikuChan.


	11. Topless Ed

Moshi Moshi!  
Turns out I'm not grounded... yet.  
Risa-Chan is mad at me... oh well. Gomen Nasi Risa!

And here, by popular demand... TOPLESS ED!

* * *

Roy pinched himself...Once..twice...three times..no, he certainly wasn't dreaming.  
Edward Elric; the famed 'Alchemist Of The People', had walked into Central HQ... topless.  
Roy was also certain he was drooling. **AN: Well, who wouldn't be?**

Havoc chocked his ciggarette, Riza dropped her gun, and the whole office stared in shock.  
"Say, boss, what's with the change-lack-of outfit?" Havoc questioned,  
peering at Ed's muscular torso, his tanned chest, and his built lower torso, and Edward's six-pack.  
"Well...It's summer in central, and heats the only thing worse then Taisa bastard." Edward said; by this time he'd been wondering why he'd done it himself.  
"Sir, I don't think you-" Hawkeye said, breaking the sudden silence.  
"Hawkeye, I checked. I can. Since when have I followed rules?"

Needless to say, the rest of the summer was well-spent drooling and staring in HQ.  
Roy thought he died and went to heaven.

* * *

Next Up:

Roy, Ed, A Bathtub, and a bloody nose. :)

Till then-- RIKUCHAN... OUT


	12. Of Bathtubs, Roy, Ed, and Nosebleeds

Moshi! Request by Jade Rotaski Queen of the Damned... :)

Bathtub, Roy And Ed, Nosebleed... and something else. Oo

* * *

Edward Elric had always hated baths. Absolutely loathed them. That is, untill he fell in love with Roy Mustang, ex-womanizer of Central.  
Now, Ed comfortably lay in the arms oh his lover; sharing a rare moment of peace.

"Ed, this might work better if you were taller..." Mustang said lazily, for he was still half-alseep, and **APPARENTLY** wasn't thinking.

A sharp _'THUNK_', followed by the water turning so red it could be used for **impure stones**, Ed's blonde hair turning crinsom in some spots left an angry Roy Mustang holding his nose.

"Whad was tha fo?" He spoke sharply, speaking through the bloody mess.

"I'm not short, I'm LONGER then you as fate may have it, and be glad that wasn't my automail hand, bastard." Edward said, quickly climbing out of the tub; wrapping a towel aroud his midriff. "And you ruined the moment"  
"BU EB!"  
Edward was a fast dresser; by the time the words had left the unfortunate Roy, who was most  
definatly uke tonight; Ed had already slipped on his clothes down to his red trenchcoat, and turned  
towards the door. "I love you too, bastard"

The door slammed, leaving a confused Roy to clean up the blood spewing from his nose.

* * *

Next UP? I need some requests!


	13. Rainy Night

Hey Guys! I'm in a rut, so requests would really be the niftyest thing ever.

* * *

Edward Elric ran through the rainy, dark, chillingly cold streets of central at night.  
He was running blindly, loose golden hair flying behind him in straggly clumps,  
his charcol black boots splatttered with mud, and his golden orbs of eyes were tearstaind,  
and the little that could be seen of the chibi's face gave away that he'd been crying.

If one stopped to watch his midnight run, they might see he was lacking a shirt, and his red overcoat  
flapped behind him, soaking him to the marrow. But Edward, who's name at the moment could be  
"Broken Elric", stopped near a park, collapsing his small frame onto a bench, his elbows on his  
knees, his hands covering his eyes, sobs racking his small body.

Now, if one could tear the eyes away from the sobbing, broken boy, they might see a taller man  
running after him, also shirtless,a man with short charcoal hair whipping in his face, and his fearful  
eyes the color of the stormy night sky. His nickname could have been "Fearful Alchemist".

Finally, the man caught up to him, and wrapped his pale arms around sobbing teen from the  
back, soaked head nuzzling the boy's wet neck.

"Edward, forgive me.. please Edward, I won't be able to live if you left me,"  
The man spoke, tears trickling softly down his face, staining pale a darker shade of peach, the  
tracks drying as the ran rain softly over them. Edwards sobs subdiued, and he managed an  
extremely watery smile. He was back in the arms of his lover.

Just the way things should be.

* * *

Side note 1: I have no idea what made them fight. If you give me ideas, maybe I could write a fighting scene of what really happened. 

Side note 2:I wrote this at 3AM, listening to the rain, and "Four Words (To Choke Upon)"  
By "Bullet For My Valentine"... it's a good song, if you couldn't tell.  
My insperation was a bench on the side of the road by a streetlamp. If I made you 'aww' My job is complete.


	14. Nightmares What really happened

This is just a lil info for this one:  
This is the reason WHY Edward was running through Central last Chapter, with Roy chasing him.

**:) I stiiill don't own... If Riku-Chan owned, she wouldn't share. -nod-**

* * *

Edward Elric had a problem; ever since Al's return as a human, he'd had re-occurring nightmares.  
It filled the blonde mans heart with a definite feeling of love, that he would wake up  
from his darkest moments, to be held gently, soothing words whispered in his ear, until he fell back asleep.

-------------------------------------------------------

"G'nite," Edward mumbled, slipping into bed near his already dead (Sleeping..what did you think? **_ED ISN'T A NECROPHILAC_**... I could make him though.) lover.

"G'nite Ed," A muffled response from Roy, whom to Ed, his voice was a lullaby.

Edward drifted towards unconsciousness, hearing the rain pound gently outside the window.

(Time elapsing here)

The clock flashed 3:15, (AN: Guess when I wrote this? x3) when Edward jolted awake, his heart pounding.

"Roy?" Edward whispered, more petrified now then in his nightmare. His voice wavered;  
tonight's nightmare had been the worst. He wanted Roy more desperately then anything in this  
world. Actually, he needed him. Badly.

No answer, as Ed's echo bounced through the tiny flat; he glanced to see if his 'Flame' was in the bathroom, but there was no light.

Edward shakily climbed out of bed; his nightmare had been just like this. Glancing left as he entered the kitchen, glanced right, entering the living room, but it was apparent; Roy was gone.(-cue music-)

Edward threw on his red over-coat and boots, slammed open the door (AN: Not sure if that's  
possible.), and without a glance behind him, he ran out into cold, rainy night.

Ed sprinted through Central, heading towards a park on the outer edge of town.  
Stopping, he looked through the glass of a bar, and caught a flash of raven-coloured hair.  
"ROY?" He gasped, peering through his tears and rain, his damp hair in his face.  
Roy spotted him, and ran towards the door, throwing a few cenz with his departure.

**Through the night, Ed ran.**

* * *

Alright, this might have been a tad confusing, so before you ask-

Edward sleeps shirtless. He didn't put on a shirt, merely an over-coat, as said in last chapter.  
I have no idea why Roy was in a bar . . . Hell, I suppose it was just convenient. (Spelling?)  
...If you give me a good reason, I mightcould write why.

I'm too bloody lazy to write the bondage fic, although I have tried. If you have AIM, IM me to read it - **Hellbound xx**. If you have MSN   
Till next time!  
--RiKUcHAN - OUT!


	15. First Kiss

3 Riku-Chan is back. I've had the strangest writers block for **_FOREVER._**  
And I got this while sandpapering my jeans, and listening to** Crush**-Cute Is What We Aim For. Check them out, they're nifty. Oh, and if you could, check out my deviantart at chibibakax(**dot**)deviantart(**dot**) com. :  
Riku doesn't own, reader no sue. And now, here's the feature presentation.

* * *

Edward sat in Roy Mustangs office, listening to him rant off about some destroyed building, or something. Not that he cared. He watched the Colonel think, yet the reason he was watching him wasn't because he was ranting.

No, It was because Edward had a longtime crush on Mustang.  
And, this longtime crush, had sent Edward spinning out of control. He was absolutely crazy for the flame alchemist.

And he couldn't bear it anymore.

"Can't we continue this later?" He said, already out the door, leaving Mustang in mid-rant, a position that Mustang didn't like. Anyone but Edward would have been de-moted so low, they were scrubbing toilets - _with their toothbrush_.  
Mustang opened his mouth to speak -- but Edward was already gone.

Edward walked through the rainy streets of Central, thinking to himself,  
his golden eyes clouded with fustration - sexual and not, his hair turning a darker blonde.

"Why? I knew I was gay.. but.. why Mustang? Why not...I don't know, Envy or something?"

It wasn't like Al didn't know. Oh, Al had been his teacher. Perhaps he should tell him to stop reading those trashy Harlequin novels Sciezska kept supplying Al with.

Edward mubled a tad more to himself, not watching where he was going, and bumped into somebody.

Looking up, he turned bright red.

Just the person he hadn't wanted to hear ranting about.

**Mustang.**

"Excuse me," Edward said, turning about eight different shades of red at once.

"Edward," Mustang said, rubbing his lips apprehensively. Little did Edward know, Mustang had had a crush on Edward since the moment he'd set eyes on the golden-eyed alchemist.

"Mustang." Ed nodded, trying to get by.

Mustang blocked his path, and looked down at him.

"I've been meaning to tell you this for a while, but-" He started, unable to finish, overcome with anxiety - what if Edward **didn't** like him? How akward would that make military buisness?

"But...?" Edward said, silently hoping for the words that came next.

Mustang took a deep breath, continuing, "But.. I.. er.. I'm in love with you, Edward Elric."

The words resulted in four different actions;

Edward turning red, Edward Grinning, Mustang looking bewildered,

_Edward reaching up and sloppily kissing_ the darker-haired man.

It was Edward's first kiss; it was sort of apparent, Mustang didn't mind.

Mustang slipped his hands around Edward's waist; thanking a God he didn't believe existed that he had landed Edward Elric; the famed Full Metal Alchemist.

* * *

:Please no super-hard requests, three of my fingers are broken thanks to skateboarding. Requests are always awesome though. So, remember - Review! 


	16. Thank yews :3

WOW. OMG OMG OMG.

* * *

This is pretty much a wonderful thank you to all my reviewers.

I really have to thank four out of them specially though.  
Those four are:

Roy-Fan-33

Fae Elric

Jade Rotaski Queen Of The Dammned

Demon Thing

And each of them will get a chapter dedicated to them - you guys, send me a review of what you want, and I'll write it for you!

Of course, I love my other reviewers too. :)  
Alright. Never in a million years would I think that my short little crack obsession with RoyEd that I wrote during math class would get me nearly fifty reviews in as little as two months. You guys are the best!

Of course, I'm in the process of writing a lemon. . . I need ideas for it though. It's not like I haven't read all fifteen pages of Mrated RoyEd. (Good stuff, I have to say). . . although I've got the sex0rz written, I just need to figure out how to tie it into a story. Not going to well.  
Next up; Edward and Roy in a park. ;)  
After that: Roy and Ed go drinking and find out just what type of drunk Edward is.  
Mayhaps After that: How Roy and Ed first felt meeting eachother. Might be the only not smut in here.  
And of course, I need to add some angst. I need ideas for that though.

* * *

Till next time, Riku- OUT! 


	17. Latin Dancing

This story is dedicated to Fae Elric for being an awesome reviewer.  
Rock on, Fae!  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the swirly motions.

* * *

Twirl, step, slide, shimmy, twirl. Blonde locks intertwined with ebony strands, two dancers swirled, perfectly in time.

Swirl, step, shake. The two seemed not to be able to get any closer, as the music swirled out of the second-story apartment.

"Come on Roy, you can do better then that," the blonde remarked, shaking a headful of bright yellow at the misstep.

"I'm trying, love."

Swirl, shimmey, step, step, shimmy. Just like their lives, the latin dance was fast and busy, and left people forever turning.

On they danced.

* * *

Gomen nasi! So short. But good. I like this one, it's my favorite.


	18. Great catches all around

This is dedicated toJade Rotaski Queen Of The Damned for being teh best reviewer (and being in the shonenai/yaoi guild. Brownie points for that!)

* * *

Mustang sat in his office, boredly sifting through the mountains of red and pink paper.

Not one from the one he really wanted one from, though. Not one.

Sighing, he pulled on his boom-boom gloves, snapped, and then the red and pink mass was no more.

Just then, the office door opened, and in ran none other then Edward Elric, the FullMetal Alchemist. "Happyvalentinesda-_owa_!" He said, running and... tripping over a loose pile of ashes.

Roy had seen this coming, and was already there when the poor boy tripped.

Catching him, he smiled at the boy... then realized his mistake. He was holding Edward Elric in his arms - and the boy wasn't his.

Well, he got me a present, let's make white day a little early.. He thought, smirking.

"Tai-" Ed was quickly silenced by a pair of lips pressed against his own.

Now_ that_ could be called a great catch.

* * *

Hope you enjoy, Jade.! 


	19. Constantine x3

Yeah. This was a request from.. somebody. DX

* * *

"Edward, it's always like this!" Roy yelled, hitting Ed hard against the head. "Roy, why are you doing this!" Sobbed an Elric, curled up in a ball, sitting on the floor. "You're always leaving! It's like you aren't strong enough, or something!" Roy screamed, knocking the boy unconcious with a deft smack to the neck.

* * *

Edward woke with a jump, curled in a ball on the floor. Tears ran tracks down the sleep-ridden cheeks, onto the messy unbraided hair. "Roy!" He called, looking about.

**Roy was nowhere**.

Ed just curled up tighter. That fight had seemed real -- was it? He didn't know, and he was damn confused. Crying softly, he ducked as Roy came back into the room.

"Edward?" Roys sleepy voice said, slightly confused as to why the boy was crying.

Ed looked up at Roy with tear-stained, hollow, and confused golden orbs, that seem to sadden Roy with just a quick flash.

"What do you WANT, Roy." Edward sob-screamed, turning away. "Why do you always hurt me?"

Mustang snapped awake. What on earth was the boy talking about? "Edward, I'm sure it was just a dream.." He started, but was cut off.

"Then why was I laying on the flooor? Why is my neck sore? WHy do I remeber you hurting me, Roy?" Edward snapped, turning away. "Besides, it's real. You hurt me."

"Edward, it was a dream! I would never hurt you. Ever, I'm not that stupid," Roy said, wrapping his arms around the smaller boy's shaking frame.

"Go away, Roy!" Edward hiccuped, pushing him away. "Don't come back."

"Kind of hard, considering this is my house. Go back to sleep Ed, it's just a dream."

"ROY CONSTANTINE MUSTANG IT WASNT A FUCKING DREAM!" Edward screamed, standing up. "Go away. NOW!" He sobbed, falling backwards onto the couch. "Leave me the FUCK ALONE."

"EDWARD IT WAS A FUCKING DREAM. GOODNIGHT, I LOVE YOU TOO." Roy said, angrily storming out of the flat, slamming the door behind him.

**Leaving Ed to discover that he'd fallen asleep against a book on the floor.**

* * *

-snickers-Constantine. Hey, I liked it.

BTW, That first part was a dream. If you couldn't tell.  
Riku needs more ideas.  
Contact her on Gaiaonline - Hai Miss Murder. (I'm in The Yaoi Guild AND The Shonen-ai/Yaoi Guilds. x3)  
Contact her on Aim - xBroken Static.


	20. SLEEP

Alright. Right now, Riku-Chan only has one thing on her mind.  
SLEEP. FUCKING SLEEP.  
She hasn't slept in four days

and btw she doesn't own fma.

* * *

Edward sat sleepily on a desk chair, his eyes red from lack of sleep.

"Must.. finish.. report.." he mumbled, rubbing his red eyes tiredly, his nimble fingers moving at speed only a lethargic snail could have acheived.

"Fullmetal?" Roys head peeked around the doorframe of the office, staring at the boy. "It's been four days; go home to your brother and get some sleep."

"I on't nee shleep, Tais'.." Ed said, lazily writing a word onto the paper. "I gotsa reports to finis.." he trailed off, staring down at the crisp sheet.

"Fullmetal, get your things. I'm taking you home." Roy said, walking back to his own office to grab his car keys. Upon returning, he gathered the boy out of the chair, and practically dragged him along to the car.

Edward grinned at being dragged along. "Wheeee...!" He said -- after all, this was the fastest he'd moved in about five days.

"Fullmetal, are you alright?" Roy said, staring down at the boy.

"Absholutlynotroy." Ed said (x3 RHYME!), and struggled up against Roy. "Whats the matter, Fullmetal"  
"I'm gayandiloveyouRoy," Edward said, leaning up and kissing his commanding officer, who turned a bright red.

"I'm not sure what to say..Ed.." Roy said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head. "Just get in the car.."

Needless to say; Edward went another night without sleep, and Roy came out of the closet.. very fast.

* * *

I'm phuckin whooped. Night. x3  
Request me at my aim or gaia or even deviantart - Aim ; xBroken Static, Gaia - Hai Miss Murder, Deviantart - Chibibakax. 


	21. Drunk Tests x3

Riku has no idea where she went with this. AT ALL.  
It doesn't make sense.. even to her.

...and she finally did get sleep. AND met Demon Thing on Deviantart. :3

* * *

Edward was drunk.

Drunk as a skunk.

Actually... Ed could have been drunker then a skunk.  
And it was all Roy's fault.

See, for Ed's 21st birthday and Roy's 23rd(**1**) half birthday, Roy had taken Ed drinking. Well, he was curious to see what type of drunk Ed was. (_aren't we all?_)

After all, Roy had seen the six basic drunks -  
the crazy drunks, who ran around naked partying, stripping, like a Girls Gone Wild.(**2**)(his personal favourite)  
The serious drunks, who cried over their drinks about long-lost friends and heartbreaks, or terrible memories (Roy was, of course, the type of drunk that sat, lost in memories.)

The perverted drunk who would hit on you untill you left, (Roy didn't enjoy those too much.)

The sober drunks -- they were drunk, but didn't act it except for the laughter,

The kind of people that didn't get drunk (also a least favourite, they were boring), and

The hyperdrunk, who'd dance against anything, do almostanthing, and acted.. well.. drunk.

And Ed was on his fourth drink. Not bad, for a just-legal kid.

But nobody knew what type of drunk Ed was (and there were bets circulating on this, as well), because... well... Ed wasn't drunk.

Roy downed three beers in about ten minutes, and Ed just slowly drank his Coke & Rum

Finally, Edward had stood up.

"Ed?" Roy had said, still half-lost in ishbalan memories, and fully came out of dreamland

when his ear was licked.

Roy was astounded -- Edward wasn't any of the basic six!

He'd pegged Ed to be a crazy Drunk, or a hyper drunk.

It then dawned on him when he noticed Edward's pants.

Edward was a horny drunk.

* * *

D'oh. Betchya never saw that one coming. x.x;


	22. EEP! UPDATE

**Riku-chan seems to have forgotten to mention something.

* * *

**

_Eep._

I'm going to be away for three days. (Friday, August Third, 'Till Monday, August Sixth.)

I'm going to see my cousins **SO NO FANFICTION FOR YOU.**

:\ Sorreh.

Risa-chan, however, will be here. XD

And... I don't own anything but a new digital camera.

No, I can't trade it for FMA.  
D:

* * *


	23. What I really ment to say, is I'm sorry

**-insert twitch here- Don't hurt me, this isn't a story.

* * *

**

This isn't going to be updated as much as it used to.

See, I've found the weirdest, but most addicting OTHER

fanfiction. And it's not on sure some of you are familiar with the band AFI?

...afislash(dot)com.

Dear god. I'm obsessed with Javey. ..(Davey x Jade, for you not in the know)

It's really hard for me to write RoyxEd now, but I swear I will try.

Thanks for understanding. Maybe after I read all 31 pages of Javey there, I will return, and re-discover RoyxEd.

Sorry guys. You'll get random updates, but lately I haven't felt like writing in forever. Definatly during school during random subjects. I've also been sick. Really sick. D:

-Riku

* * *

I'm really sorry guys. Contact me on aim, (x broken static) or gaiaonline (SHARP!ES), or Deviantart. (Chibibakax.) 


End file.
